Normon Specimen #13 Codename: ‘Slob’

Best friends, forced or otherwise are the greatest, ones who can be complete ass bitches and warm snuggly care bears at the same time, the kind who  hands out free hugs and gets you hip fattening chocolate doughnuts to eat while you cry and drip snot all over their shoulders, ones who treat every awkward fugly card you made for them like it was worth a bag of golden bullions!

I kinda have one of those, picked her up during my awkward freshman year of college. The thing is, she’s creepily like me except for her weirder side. So here’s some stuff you need to know about the other weirdo in my life… (Yea, I said OTHER)

The 7-step guide to figuring out Shinku [AKA Cherry Bomb \m/]:

1) Serial Pooch Smoocher

She LOOOVVESS dogs, and unlike the lame me who loves dogs, she actually has one, Mickey. Mickey’s a Min Pin and is also known as the love of her life. Do you hate dogs? Do dogs hate you? You ain’t got any chance at hitting it off with her. [Awww, don’t be disheartened… Mickey HAATTEES me and good ol’ Shinks hasn’t clawed my eyes out…yet] Mickey’s a fierce protector when his master sleeps, maker of the best puppy dog eyes to get that forbidden piece of chicken, understander [What? That’s not even a word!] (I’ll make it a word if I want to!) As I was saying, UNDERSTANDER of meh days, frenemy of crows, barkest of barks! Like he’s the bark-meister yo! \m/ Yea, he’s the dope (does that even make sense?) [No sense whatsoever… *rolls eyes*]But what I know for sure is that he’s an adorable ball of never ending energy ,he can make you feel better no matter how much of deep shit you’re.

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