Love actually

It’s a hot, sultry day, I’m sitting droopy eyed watching the wedding crashers with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. The movie keeps rolling, both of them bedding bridesmaid after bridesmaid and it finally leads up to a cliché scene where Owen ends up falling for one of these maidens and tells her that love is finding your counterpoint in another (cue to roll eyes). There’s tons of movies like the wedding crashers out there, all with hapless souls looking for a good shag or that perfect kiss or a romantic rendezvouz or butterflies and tingly feelings and ultimately true love. Somehow it strikes some weird ass cord in me, maybe because apart from my recent Netflix induced rom-com addiction, many of my classmates from school and college are rushing off to be part of the happily married club and here I was still eating ice cream out of the tub, feeling like a loser in the relationship battlefield, completely de-motivated to find my someone, to make an effort to run a brush through my messy mane, handicapped at flirting and too flippant to care about it.

I wasn’t always like this though, I had my fair share of crushes, almost relationships and surprisingly enough an actual one too. It wasn’t some fling or sad affair, it was a long process of best friends turned to something more. I for one got caught up in the multi million dollar industry of sweet nothings, valentines, hand holding and the like, the kind of love which makes you all weak in the knees, him fawning over the princess that you are sort of thing but then reality hit me, HARD. I think I was blinded by my very lovestruck friends, the gazillion rom-coms I’d watched growing up, prosy Shakespeare and trashy novels with buxom ladies and blue eyed men. After that rude awakening, moping about breaking up and a lot of healing chocolate I became sane enough to realise that THAT wasn’t what I was looking for.

But now that Owen’s saying all this stuff… was I wrong? Had I given up on love too soon? I couldn’t brood for long though, I had a  date with mom and the vegetable vendor down the street so I reluctantly switched off my only chance at having those lovey dovey mushy Netflix moments and went out  with mom. We were still deciding on what curry to cook, when she suddenly did something, she held my hand ( in my family we aren’t very demonstrative so it was rather odd), she looks at me and then tells me that she’s going to miss me when I go off to live own my own and all sorts of weird mother daughter stuff…I sort of zoned out but I recognized a familiar feeling…one that was long gone….one I’d moved on from… the warmth of being loved… and that’s when I realized that I needn’t be sad about being ousted by the happy couples club, that I needn’t wait around for love , that love had always been there in my life…

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