Happy anti-mope-essant day to me!

Helloooo cupcake!! (Yesss I just called you cupcake, yes, it might be a thing from now on or maybe a phase) It’s one of those days when I have a whole pile of work left to do but no amount of coaxing, deadlines of deadlines, badgering or bribing will make me get off my bed and get to it. I feel weighed down, this whole week has been a drag, this whole semester has been loathsome, this whole year has torn apart my New Year resolutions from limb to limb, I did NOT lose five kilos, I did NOT stop procrastinating once and for all, I did NOT write to my best friend… There hasn’t been a skippity-doo-dah in my step of late, but enough is enough, it’s time to get out of that funk and get a hold of that unicorn who is making a run for it seeing the version of me with the un-shed five kilos… Hey you!! Wait up!! Huff -puff-huff-puff… lungs burning…

FINE I don’t need a unicorn but I could sure use something equally whimsical, at least for a day… So I’m going to celebrate and since it’s too late for birthdays and too early for Halloween and Sundays are way too depressing because of the Monday that awaits, I’m going to take a plain Jane Saturday and wish myself a happy anti-mope-essant day, a day where I drag myself out of bed at midnight and twirl around in my shorts (the really loose kinds do twirl… kinda) and oversized tee and messy buns, smelling like a fresh summer day, give myself a pep talk and a hug, coz it’s anti-mope-essant day, the day when I do NOT worry about lists, and other people’s feelings and the finals and the future and mistakes… no way in hell will I sit up at 2 a.m. and be eaten up by worry! Not tonight!! Instead I will do happy things…

STEP 1: Make a blanket fort. Because it’s like camping and who doesn’t love camping?? The impenetrable kind where no demonic force can reach you, where you can hide out from your sister whose favourite tee shirt you spilt juice over, where you hoard your toys so you don’t have to share them with the kid from the next block! I love forts, they immediately make me happy and safe and fill me with such immense glee just like when I was seven. On anti-mope-essant day, I will live in my fort.

STEP 2: Lights out!! Bring on the candles (make-do bonfire), bring out the lava lamps, bring out the flashlights, and bring out those glow-in-the-dark stickers and any other glow in the dark stuff because it’s so cooooool!! And besides, candles are a total must have when cake is involved, coz when you’re celebrating, you need to do it properly!!

STEP 3: Make some fudgy cake in a mug, in the dearest little mug which you will take to your grave, get some cookies the big round, gooey in the centre kind and a tall glass of cold milk. Because cake is happy food and cookies and milk are the Gods of midnight feasts, the very things forbidden to six year olds by dear mumsies who believe in the myths of brushing at night.

STEP 4: Call your best friend and sing the anti-mope-essant song or if you can then annoy the fuck out of them by doing this at their place. Sing, shout out loud, without any sense of rhyme or rhythm, sing yourself hoarse… Say horrible things to each other, blow out candles, and eat cake and make contended cake sounds which often get confused with the sex ones… Make plans for the future… the unscary kind, what ugly name you’ll name his third satanic kid, totally abusing your right as godmother, about the cabin you’ll rent out every summer, about honey glazed ribs…

STEP 5: Pretend to hear buzzing noise on phone and cut the call or let him nod off to sleep (when you the only sound you hear are silent snores and occasional sighs… that’s your cue to escape) Spend some time with yourself… with the comfort that you are not alone, that the loser who just nodded off to dreamland is there for you..

STEP 6: Lie down and stare at the stars, the twinkly ones up above in the sky or the glow in the dark ones, the ones you rushed into the nearest supermarket to buy and realised weren’t adhesive enough and you had to rush off to buy double sided table only to realise that you’re too short enough to put it up and then finally after taking a whole afternoon to put them up, they don’t really glow in the dark **glowerrr**urge to kill someone**. (Hope you guys had better luck than me!!)

STEP 7: Find a comfy position (mine’s this weird leg twisty thing, feeling snuggly under my blankie, with Buzhubu at my side) It’s gonna hurt like a bitch at weird and unfamiliar joints but it’s worth it… and then I take up my one of my dog eared favourites and read, stopping every now and then to give a contended sigh or smile the crinkling my eyes sort of smile… and slowly drift away…

The morning after is usually spent taking long walks and feeling the wind in my hair till I get that pesky reminder that anti-mope-essant day is over and real life awaits… Now that I think about it, it should have been anti-mop-essant night right?

It was good while it lasted though, and it’s like a breather… Those days when you feel down in the dumps, days when you regret ending that three year old relationship, days when you feel like you’ve been fucking trying and trying and trying but everything seems to be slipping away, days when you miss that feeling of home, days when you feel like you’re not enough for anyone… If you’re having one of those then you need need need need to let yourself celebrate an anti-mope-essant day/night…

Get out there and do your thing, make a warm bubble bath for yourself and soak in it for what feels like ever, stop that no weight loss diet and go indulge, organise your sock drawer, make new playlists and take out that old guitar, let out the wanderer in you and go exploring, transport yourself into the world of Shakespeare and Thoreau, of the magic faraway tree and goblins and tea parties…do whatever it is that delights your achy breaky heart… Happy anti-mope-essant day you guys!! Take a break, like SERIOUSLLLYYYY!!!

P.S: Don’t forget the cake!!! Coz cake is the answer to no matter what the question is!!


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